Couples Therapy in Copenhagen (and Online)
My name is Holger Spanggaard, and I offer couples therapy, individual therapy, and sex therapy in central Copenhagen. We can also meet online.
I speak both Danish and English. Most of my clients are Danish (like me), but I also have international couples with whom I speak English.
Each year, I help over 100 couples work through a variety of challenges, so I’m confident I can help you too.
If you’d like to get started quickly, simply book a session in my calendar. You’re also welcome to call me at 22321888 or email me at holger@bevidsthed.org if you have any questions.
I look forward to getting to know you!

Holger Spanggaard is a couples therapist, sexologist, and psychotherapist in Copenhagen.
Typical Topics in Couples Therapy
What Happens in Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy consists of sessions held at my office in Copenhagen. I act as a facilitator to ensure we discuss challenging topics constructively, so the conversation remains productive and avoids conflict or negativity.
In a therapy course, you’ll receive practical advice and concrete solutions to your challenges, which you can apply in your daily life. Most couples notice positive changes even after the first session.
The number of sessions varies, but most couples end up having around 5-6. We’ll decide together when to meet again after each session, so you’re not committed to a set number of sessions in advance.
Often, couples therapy is combined with individual sessions. While these are optional, they can be a valuable supplement, helping you get the most out of the couples therapy process. Typically, 1-2 individual sessions are sufficient.
You can quickly get started by booking a session where we meet at my office at Øster Søgade 34, 2nd floor, Copenhagen.
Online sessions via Zoom, Skype, or Google Meet are also available if an in-person meeting in Copenhagen isn’t convenient for you.
If you have any questions, feel free to call me at 22321888 or email me at holger@bevidsthed.org.
Better Communication with Couples Therapy
Poor communication is one of the main reasons couples seek therapy. When partners struggle to talk to each other in a constructive and caring way, even minor disagreements can escalate into major conflicts.
Sometimes, it’s about learning simple tools for constructive conversations. Other times, deeper issues or fundamental disagreements cause conversations to veer off track.
A relationship isn’t just about holding hands when you understand each other; it’s also about enduring misunderstandings and still holding on to each other!
In a couples therapy course, difficult conversations take place in a “civilized” manner, with a facilitator who can “translate” when needed, ensuring both voices are heard and understood. For most couples, this alone works wonders.
Additionally, you’ll receive practical advice on how to communicate better, so the therapy process becomes the beginning of lasting, improved communication in your relationship.
Couples Therapy Strengthens Connection
When the sense of connection fades, a relationship eventually begins to unravel—it’s that simple. This is why a primary goal of couples therapy is to strengthen the feeling of closeness and being on the same team.
The biggest issues in a relationship are often those that create emotional distance, leading you to think in terms of “me” and “mine” rather than “us” and “ours.” This can strain both love and the desire to be in a relationship.
Many people have experienced loneliness within a relationship, as the emotional distance has grown too large. It’s heartbreaking to feel lonely alongside the person you most want to be close to.
Over time, a lack of connection erodes trust and intimacy, often creating a negative cycle where both partners withdraw more and more. This usually only worsens with time, so the longer it goes unaddressed, the more effort it will take to reverse the trend.
When couples part ways, it’s often because they’ve lost faith in their ability to break the negative cycle. It’s as though the accumulated emotional debt feels impossible to repay.
In a couples therapy course, both partners feel seen, heard, and understood, which rebuilds trust and a sense of connection. It also strengthens the belief that you can make it work together.
Crises, Conflicts, and Infidelity
Many couples seek therapy as urgent first aid when their relationship is shaken by crises, conflicts, or infidelity.
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Conflicts are inevitable, as a relationship is between two unique people with different needs and desires. Disagreements will arise; the question is whether you can handle them in a way that doesn’t harm the relationship.
If conflicts aren’t addressed in time, they can escalate into a crisis that may lead to a breakup. In couples therapy, you’ll learn how to manage conflicts and crises in a way that fosters understanding and closeness rather than distance and mistrust.
Infidelity is one of the most challenging crises in relationships. It fills one partner with mistrust, anger, and sorrow while the other faces guilt, shame, and remorse. Many relationships don’t recover from infidelity because the wounds are too deep.
A therapy course focused on infidelity is about healing the betrayal. It’s also about gaining understanding and insight to prevent it from happening again. And, of course, it’s about forgiveness—so one day, you can put the infidelity behind you.
Sex therapy
For most, sex and intimacy are essential parts of a fulfilling relationship, making it a concern if attraction and passion fade. Without a healthy sex life, a relationship loses a vital source of joy, energy, and emotional closeness. In some cases, unresolved issues around intimacy can even lead to a breakup, so it makes sense to focus on your sex life in couples therapy.
As both a certified sexologist and couples therapist in Copenhagen, I regularly combine therapy with sexological counseling for couples. Common topics include lack of desire, differing sexual preferences, performance anxiety, shame, misunderstandings, varying emotional needs, disagreements about who initiates intimacy, and more.
Children and Family Life
Family life is a frequent topic in couples therapy. Being good partners doesn’t always mean you agree on everything, like parenting, traditions, and more. It’s also not uncommon to face challenges with in-laws. So, even if your relationship works perfectly when it’s just the two of you, many issues can arise when you face the responsibilities of children and family together.
Couples therapy is professional support for your relationship when things get stuck.
Blended families, in particular, are a challenge for many. When both partners bring children into the relationship, it creates numerous interwoven connections that need harmony. Success isn’t always guaranteed, but the most important thing is to remain loving toward each other, even when everything isn’t perfect.
Parenting is a classic area of tension. Here, couples therapy can help you find compromises that both can support. A key point is that you don’t need to agree on everything. What matters most is that differences don’t turn into conflicts.
Don’t Know Me Yet?
My name is Holger Spanggaard. I am a couples therapist, psychotherapist, and sexologist in Copenhagen and the author of *I Miss Us – A Guide to Closeness, Intimacy, and Love* (read the first three chapters here).
I also run men’s groups, women’s groups, and couples’ courses. If you’d like to know more about my background, read my story (in danish).
Each year, I help over 100 couples navigate challenges like conflict, poor communication, emotional distance, infidelity, issues with intimacy, and other relationship struggles. I also work with many individual clients.
The only real prerequisite for couples therapy is a desire to improve your relationship.
You don’t need to have everything figured out, be great at discussing emotions, or have read loads of books. If everything were perfect, there’d be no need for therapy!
Ready to get started? Simply book a time in my calendar.
If you have questions about couples therapy, send an email to holger@bevidsthed.org or call 22321888 and we can discuss it together.
Inspiration for a Healthy Relationship
Couples therapy isn’t just about solving problems and conflicts. It can also focus on enhancing an already good relationship: How can you boost your sex and love life? How can you be better partners for each other? And how can you nurture your relationship amid a busy daily routine?
If things are generally going well, it might be the perfect time to explore shared visions and dreams for your relationship: What do you want your partnership to look like in 1, 3, or even 10 years? Couples therapy can be an opportunity to think bigger. Shared hopes and dreams contribute to a deeper sense of meaning and connection.
I often recommend a couple’s check-up as an alternative to traditional therapy. This check-up consists of a questionnaire that provides an overview of the current state of your relationship. It’s an excellent starting point for couples therapy.
Challenges of Open Relationships
More and more people are exploring alternatives to the traditional monogamous relationship, where partners live together. Many are choosing to live apart, and many are trying out open relationships. However, there are numerous pitfalls to avoid when exploring new ways of being together. A common challenge is figuring out how to prioritize time, energy, and attention so that both partners’ needs are met. Jealousy can also be a significant issue.
Couples therapy can help establish clear boundaries and agreements, ensuring that no one gets hurt while navigating these new frameworks. You’ll also receive practical advice on how to best align your needs so that both partners can find happiness.
Breakup or Divorce?
Some couples seek out a therapist because they want to part ways amicably, which is especially important when children are involved. However, it can also be about coming to terms with the breakup and the shattered dreams that accompany it. Where did the love go? When did things start to go wrong? Should I have done something differently? Is it my fault? What is my partner really thinking deep down?
There are many emotions involved when separating from someone you once loved and may still have feelings for. Beneath the surface, there can be bitterness, anger, and hurt feelings that can quickly flare up and ignite conflict. As a result, many find it difficult to part as friends.
If you would like assistance in navigating your separation in the best possible way, feel free to book an appointment.
Am I the Right Therapist for You?
If you’re uncertain about couples therapy and whether I’m the right therapist for you, I offer a free introductory session where you can get to know me and sense the chemistry between us. This conversation can be conducted online or over the phone and lasts about 10 minutes. It’s free of charge, and you are not committed to anything.
During the introductory session, I will explain my role as a couples therapist and what you can expect from couples therapy. However, we won’t discuss your specific challenges at this time.
An introductory session is not required to begin couples therapy, and most couples choose to skip it. You are also welcome to call me at 22321888, to learn more about couples therapy and get answers to your questions.
How to get Startet with Couples Therapy
Getting started with couples therapy is easy through my online booking system, where you can quickly schedule a session.
Here, you can view the prices for couples therapy. You can also see my location in Copenhagen K, near the lakes. We can also meet online if that suits you better.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at 22321888 or Holger@bevidsthed.org (I typically respond within a few hours).
I look forward to hearing from you!
Updated 19 May 2024.26-8-2024Couples therapy in Copenhagen or onlineBevidsthed.org